The other night I saw some guy set his sights on a girl and, although I couldn’t hear what he said to her, I could tell he wasn’t really adept to the art of pick-up.
Listen guys, this is an art form. It’s all about the hints of cheesiness and sheer desperation. It’s not all about the vulgarity, although a little spice is never bad, and it’s never all about you – I should feel fantastic after hearing it no matter the level of corny it is.
In case you aren’t all that great with the subtle art form of picking up the ladies, I had my oh-so-creative friends give me their best lines for you, dear readers, to use.
And now, without further ado, let the humiliation begin!
NO. No, don’t do this.
10. Excuse me, madam, did you just fart? Because you blew me away!
You know, this one might actually work on me despite the fact that it’s so vulgar. It makes a girl laugh.
DISCLAIMER: If the girl isn’t comfortable with her own bodily functions than she probably won’t find this so funny. Those girls want everyone to believe they fart potpourri-scented glitter…they don’t.
9. If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together.
It makes me think of Kraft, that’s how cheesy it is, yet I smile every, single, time I read that one.
8. Are you from Tennessee? Because you are the only ten I see.
Don’t assume this line will work because you’ll make an ASS out of U and ME.
7. My name’s ________ but you can call me Boyfriend.
Just remember to actually put your name in there. No one appreciates you simply saying “Hey, my name’s Blank.”
6. I seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?
I’m sure if the girl is drunk/stupid enough she’ll even volunteer to help you go and find your lost number.
5. I’d rather be blind than see you walk away.
Oh, well, in that case, I guess I’ll remain right here…
4. That dress would look great on my bedroom floor.
If that’s not a panty-dropper I don’t know what is.
3. Are you a speeding ticket? Because you got ‘fine’ written all over you.
You might get a speeding ticket for moving too fast with this great line.
2. I’m attracted to you.
This gem was submitted to me by my friend of the female descent. I think it’s why it appeals to me so much – it’s exactly how a girl would hit on a girl. It’s straight to the point. It makes them feel good about themselves and they are sure that the complimenter is sincere.
Now if only more guys would hit on me like this…
1. I’m glad I have my library card because I’m checking you out!
Not going to lie, I only picked this one because it had something to do with a library. My English-Majorness took over right then. But, seriously, if a guy said this to me I would first demand to see his library card and then go home with him (whether or not he had that library card).