I’m moving to the place where single girls are made and often die alone in their apartments to be eaten by their cats: New York City.
And while I’m confident that I won’t die alone, only because, if I ever find an apartment, I’ll need a roommate since I’m a poor, struggling writer/waitress/lover of Ramen; I’m not confident that I’ll actually find an apartment. I am confident, however, that I will probably end up living in a really nice cardboard box at this rate.
What I’m finding is that looking for an apartment in NYC is a lot like trying to find a decent individual on OkCupid. Which, lucky for me, is what I’m particularly seasoned at trying to do.
I don’t know if it’s simply just a free-site thing or and online thing but, either way, people lie. On OkCupid people lie all the time about their jobs, hobbies, favorite books (or that they read books in general), or even what they look like (By the way: Catfish is real. It is so real. So, you’ve lost a lot of hair? Just own it don’t post a fake picture that makes you look like Fabio). I’ve found pictures of the same apartment for listings in Brooklyn, Queens, and the Upper West Side, and I’m pretty certain that’s just not possible. Why must we lie about apartment locations? I mean, I’m desperate enough to live just about anywhere, and anyone else on Craigslist is probably in the same boat, let’s just be truthful.
Then there are the overeager sellers. I contacted an owner about their apartment but when I found out they had posted the same listing over and over in multiple locations (seriously, what is that?) I decided that this probably wasn’t the best fit. So I contacted the person again and said I wasn’t interested in the apartment because something else had come up. That should have been it, right?
The guy has texted me three more times asking me if I have changed my mind. No, I haven’t changed my mine, Crazy. I mean, come on, I’d text you if I changed my mind about your sketchy apartment. This actually reminded me of that guy from OkCupid who texted me non-stop after I fell asleep. It was sheer desperation. But, I can’t be the only person who was looking at that apartment. Still, desperation is as desperation does.
So, like I said, there is a lot of common ground found between OkCupid Manor and Craigslist Castle. And luckily I have my Single Girl Wits about me to guide me through these homeless times. I hope that I won’t be single and homeless long.
I’d much rather be single and living in NYC.
Romantic Jesus, please help me find an apartment.