Nintendo 64 has recently graced my living room again and with it has come all the wonderful memories of childhood accomplishments: saving Zelda, getting all the stars, dodging green shells…
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| J-Biebs saves the princess. photo from: http://images.elfwood.com/f anq/a/n/andamay2/link_and_zelda.jpg |
And with those memories also came the realization that all I had learned to believe as a child was just a gimmick thought up by little men in business suits who were trying to make other pathetic people think their lives could actually be meaningful. Are you a short, chunky plumber? Then of course you would be able to jump, fight, and fly your way to the princess and save the day!
But apparently short, chunky plumbers didn’t take the hint because they are definitely not trying to jump, fight and fly in order to impress the ladies.
I want a boy, whose only friend is a fairy, to learn how to ride a horse, make some significant wardrobe changes, get a cool sword and warp ahead seven years just so he can fight an angry ginger and save me (for some, we would have to call him “Justin Bieber”). Does this boy has flaws? Sure, ever boy does but maybe his journey will improve him and, if not, then I can just focus on the fact that he did just drop everything to save me.
In short, to quote a wise woman named Bonnie Tyler, “I’m holding out for a hero.” I’m not asking for anything crazy to happen to me, although I have always wondered what Bowser is like in person (I feel like he would have a good sense of humor), but it would be nice to feel protected by someone.
All you guys out there, go pick up your N64 controller and get some lessons on how to impress the ladies. It just takes some stars and some determination.
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