It’s summer time but, thankfully, my hard time in the real world hasn’t started yet. I’ve worked occasionally but not in a way that would give me more than $0.61 combined in my savings and checking accounts.
In fact, the only thing I’ve worked on since I’ve been home is watching the first and second seasons of Game of Thrones.
Just walk into my bedroom closet and you will find my Tyrion Lannister shrine made of used tissues and held together with my tears.
The one thing I love the most about Game of Thrones is how grateful it makes me feel for not living in their world as the single lady I tend to be. So I’ve compiled a list of five main reasons why I’m glad to not be living in Westeros despite how much I love watching the show.
5 Reasons I’m Glad to Not Be Single in the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros.
5. I’d have to work for Little Finger. If you aren’t married and you have a vagina then most likely you are going to end up as a prostitute. And I don’t want to have to have sex with some fat, old, lord just because I’m being paid to – it doesn’t sound like something I would necessarily enjoy.
4. I’m worth about as much as a goat. Being single basically means I can be traded without my consent. Oh, what’s that, My Lord? You need an army? Sure, just give me to the first barbarian you meet in exchange for some men with sticks.
3. Unless I’m married to a powerful man, no one takes me seriously. Oh wait, that’s not that different from our world…
2. It’s got some medieval Mean Girls going on. It doesn’t really matter if you are single or in a relationship in Westeros, someone will stab you in the back, or cut off your hand, or kill your significant other. They will do so with a smile and without the slightest flutter of an eyelid. They will do so when you think they are your ally.
1. I would be eligible to be courted by the future king. This doesn’t sound that bad, right? But King Joffrey is a prick and all the other kings are old. If the King of the North, Robb McHotPants, came to my door then we would be talking marriage but the chances that I would be stuck with Joffrey, fearing my life and beating other prostitutes for his amusement, are way too high.