I went out with my sister and her husband tonight and had a blissful evening filled with watching the Queen of England “jump” out of a helicopter (i.e. walked out at the appropriate time as if said historical figure had launched her 86-year-old self out of a briskly moving aero-plane) and trying to figure out exactly why all those sick children (or were they orphans?) were jumping on beds at that time of night.
When I got home I stumbled across to a new message on Facebook.
And by “stumbled across” I mean, “walked into the house, with a good buzz, found pizza in the fridge, heated it up and listened to ‘Ignition’ by R. Kelly twice while devouring said Italian greatness.”
I’m assuming that by “life saver” is referring to the fact that I drove him home that night and not that I am a predecessor to the Coast Guard…
Is this a vague response? Yes.
Am I surprised by it? Nah.
Honestly I never dreamed of having a chance with this man. He’s accomplished and cute and way out of my league.
I let myself get swept up in the opinions of others. The well-meaning outbursts of my co-workers and friends who made me believe I ever had a chance with him. And I know this appears self-deprecating but I know myself well enough to know that, as much as I may have fantasized about it, this guy was not someone who I could ever be with. He’s just playing for the majors while I’m still playing bench in the minors.
This is okay, I think, because I know a few new things about myself:
- I’m resilient. I bounce back. I’m not crushed by the defeat in this message.
- I’m confident. Which isn’t something I could say about myself when I started this blog, I’m not as afraid to say something on my behalf to a guy any longer, which I believe has a lot to do with the support of my friends and my family.
- I’m looking forward. I know that, although this didn’t work out, I have options in the future still.
Am I writing this guy off? Oh hell no. Who knows? He could break up with his current girlfriend next week and think of me for all I know.
But, until then, I’m staying positive. I’m not pining, I’m not obsessive. I’m aware; A little hopeful.
Hell, I’m not sure if this was even a rejection.
What do you all think? Any thoughts? Was I tossed to the curb?
And now a little Wilson Philips, just cause I can: