A single nerd.


I met a nerd a few Thursdays ago.  A cute nerd, mind you, but a nerd all the same.

Brandon talked to me about his love for Magic and video games.  He spoke to me about his time spent in his school’s gaming society and earnestly tried to persuade me into believing that he was not, actually, a nerd.  And I played along: “You are totally not a nerd,” I chimed in over coffee but he was, indeed, a nerd.

He was sweet and cute and generally interested in what I had to say.  He had great manners and held my umbrella for me as we walked to the cafe in the rain that day.  He believed that I met his standards and then some.

And I didn’t mind that he didn’t meet all of my standards or that he appeared to be someone straight out of the Big Bang Theory – he was easily the sweetest individual that I had met in a long time.

Notice that all of the above is in past tense.  

He made it through the first few rounds of my rigorous screening (it’s a simple recipe – one part coffee, two parts simple conversation via electronic devices) and got himself a date with me.

If you see this Nerd make sure
you have towels handy for when he kisses you.
Photo from: http://www.clker.com/clipart-14049.html

That’s when Brandon’s eagerness took over.

A general rule of thumb: Nerdy boys don’t often get any and, in many situations, this creates an over-eager beaver on dates.

And I don’t mean over-eager as in too many compliments at dinner.

 No,  I mean someone wanted to go too far when I explicitly expressed my views on the “no sex on the first date” rule – I may love “Sex in the City” but have never really felt as comfortable as Carrie when it comes to jumping the first guy who buys me a cosmo.  And it wasn’t a one time thing – he kept trying again and again and again – and he didn’t even buy me a cosmo.

There was no conversation.  There was silence and a movie and someone who kept creeping closer on the couch.  And there was the worst kiss of my life.

Kissing isn’t hard people.  Do it right or don’t do it all.

While wiping off the saliva from my face, and after I made up an excuse to get Brandon out of my house, I came to the conclusion that this was easily the worst date I’d ever been a participant in.

And that’s how a single nerd annoyed me enough to take a break from dating – for a little while.