Story time children! Gather round and listen to a tale that changed the lives of two friends named Olivia (that’s me!) and Absol* (that’s my friend!).
|My friend, Absol, looking particularly
Photo from: http://images.wikia.com/
Once upon a time, Olivia and Absol decided to go get coffee because both had been up late the night before working on homework (or going on facebook). They walked out of their office, leaving behind their belongings, because they believed that other people would still be there when they returned. They were quite mistaken. They returned, with beautiful, caffeine-rich coffees in hand, and were distraught upon seeing the door to the office locked.
It was decided that the two friends would go off and drink their coffee in a nearby cafeteria. After a few minutes of bored silence Absol perked up, exclaiming: “Oh he’s cute!” He gestured fairly discretely to a boy walking past the cafeteria. And, indeed, he was good-looking.
This simple exclamation began a new fad for the two friends. They began scoring cute boys as they came through the cafeteria and tried to find the hottest one that walked by. A score was attributed to each boy that crossed in front of us. Originally it was out of ten but soon we were adding on points for various reasons that were important to us – “He has a nice walk, it’s confident, he definitely gets two more points for that” or “Look at how he’s dressed, surely he’s a business major, he’s going to have a real job when he graduates and will be able to take care of my poor, English major ass. 5,000 extra points.”
We rated every boy that traveled through our path and in our enjoyment forgot all about being locked out of the office or our fatigue and desperate need to drink our coffees.
And thus, the Boy Rating Game, was created.
The rules: rate cute boys.
The winner: Everyone wins the Boy Rating Game.
Absol and I settled on five major categories to rate boys on: Face, Body, Clothing, Mode of Transportation, and Job (or “assumed career”). Each category was based on a scale of 1(“he’s a’ight”) to 5 (“hot damn”) which gave a boy the possibility of earning a total of 25 points.
There were some categories that we had to be lenient with because we are on a college campus – which means there are multiple ways of determining the score for “Mode of Transportation” and “Job.” Since most boys are walking around campus we rated “Mode of Transportation” on the swagger of the boy. And since most of these boys are obviously unemployed we determine the major of the boy based on their attire and then scored appropriately.
For your convenience I have created a take-home boy rating sheet. Just print out one for you and your friend and go judge boys based on their appearances!
For all ages.
*Name has been changed. His parent’s didn’t actually name him Absol.