Since the official opening of this blog I have done little to fulfill my mission. That is, I’ve done nothing but sit back and complain without doing much more than logging onto a couple of dating websites. But, OkCupid aside, what have I accomplished? Nothing.
That’s why today was the day that I decided to do something and, since my hair was straight enough, that something was going to be…drum roll please… the room crossing, wordless interacting, stare.
|Keeping her prey in sight.
That’s right everyone. I did what all our mothers told us not to do when we were children. I picked out the prettiest faces, even a few less-than pretty faces and made eye contact with them.
From what I’d learned, through some quick online research, there are definite lines that shouldn’t be crossed when starting this eyes-only love kindling.
First, there are the kinds of stares that you use. Yes, there are kinds. There’s the come hither stare, the “I’m feeling a little flirty” stare, and the wide-eyed “damn you’re sexy” stare. Try to avoid the later. You don’t want to look desperate and, in general, almost anything wide-eyed looks desperate.
Then there is timing. This will not be effective without acknowledging the fact that if you stare at someone for too long then you will undoubtedly transform into the outcast girl from “The Breakfast Club.” We don’t want that. Contain that look into a three second period and, as almost every site and blog has agreed upon, look down and smile. Then, after 15 seconds, look up. If he is still perplexed and now staring at you, then go ahead, do it again. Just don’t get carried away. He might think you have some sort of tick if you keep looking up and down.
Let’s just say that I still get aw-struck when hot guys are around and, since I like hot guys, I was giving off too much of the “damn you’re sexy” look and too little of the “I’m feeling flirty.”
|This deer will get some
action with that stare.
Photo from: http://eword10.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/
In my mind I was captivating every man that crossed my path. One look and, bam, they fell for me. One, two, three. I counted it in my head and I heard every boy sigh with regret when, at three, I looked away. But when I looked back up at them they would still be staring excitedly. Close up on my eyes. Close up on his eyes. Double close up on our eyes.
But, as I said, that was all in my mind. For the most part I couldn’t get out of my head and therefore looked more like a confused deer trying to get some action. This just proves that I’m not ready for this form of flirting. That’s fine. I’ll just keep playing the online field in the minor leagues.