There are many things that I’m willing to do when it comes to finding me a man but I will never be willing to go onto a reality dating show. Power to the people that do but it’s just not for me. Here’s my top ten reasons as to why:
10. I honestly don’t like roses enough to get them each time I get to continue on for another week towards my true love.
9. My boobs are just too real. They sag slightly to the left, they shake like an earthquake (they may have caused that earthquake in Haiti like some religious officials claimed) even when I don’t want them to and I think one is bigger than the other. The realness might be too much for my potential bachelor; they are a lot to handle and paired with an entire show of fake breasts the poor fellow might just not know what to do when comes across a real pair.
8. I would start to laugh at inappropriate times. Champagne, sunsets, a boat ride with my bachelor and what am I doing? Laughing. How can you take something like that seriously when you are snuggled up with bachelor number one and five other guys clutching their cameras? And let’s not forget those cheesy one liners. The guy wouldn’t know what to do as I am rolling on the floor right after he told me that “I was the only girl for him.” I’m on a show with twenty other girls that fill his requirements, obviously I’m not the only girl for him.
|First Fault: Rose
Second Fault: Cookie-Cutter Image
No thanks, Bub.
Photo from: http://thezaz.nationallampoon.com/articles//
7. I don’t like cookie cutter boys. Give me your weird, give me your nerds, give me your lifeless video-gamers; that’s how I like ‘em. I like people who are different. I like personality. Don’t get me wrong, I like the Brad Pitts of this world as much as the next girl but if they all have the same smile, same laugh and same dyed, surfer boy hair then it’s just not a guy I want. I need something different, a surprise and, as long as their idea of a surprise isn’t taking a shower, I am open to almost any guy that is free-form.
6. My chances of becoming a millionaire are too slim. Although some girls get a big check at the end of the show, it certainly isn’t guaranteed. Unless I’m certain that all of this putting out and wearing low cut dresses gets me some money I don’t want to participate. I’m a poor college student and, yes, my options for money as an English Major aren’t all that great but I could make more money working the corner down by the local 7-11, wearing the same clothes as I did on the show, and I could \ do all of that while avoiding taxes or prenups.
5. No one should have to attack another girl to win a man’s heart just to fulfill some guy’s fantasy about girls wrestling in pudding, mud, jello, etc. And they should never have to do that in short-shorts and a tank top just to win over a guy they barely know. Also, I wouldn’t fair well in just a tank top while balancing in a pool of jello (refer back to #9).
4. Living in a house filled with girly-girls who take too long in the bathroom and bitch about each other behind their backs just isn’t my scene. I would snap. Hair dye would go missing, roots would be exposed and then things would start to get ugly. That would be quality television.
|There’s no way you are putting me in a room
with a stranger and turning out the lights.
Photo from: http://www.buddytv.com/dating-in-the-dark.aspx
3. I have a fear of the dark and, although some shows are clever in their interpretation of a blind date, I’d hate to know how shallow boys can be when the lights come back on.
2. The challenges aren’t as good as on Survivor. If I compete for a guy then I want to at least enjoy myself.
1. Although I want to find my true love I don’t think I’m desperate enough to put my love turmoils out there for everyone to see (Just kidding).